Have you ever felt like you were withering in your relationship? Like the radiant blossoming flower you once were is now a faint memory? Remember how your hips rhythmically swayed and your lips opened to reveal such a magnificent smile. Life was feeling juicy – pregnant with all possibilities. Perhaps you experienced betrayal, abuse, neglect and your juiciness dried up. To live one day without feeling the elixir of feminine beauty is a betrayal to ourself. When did you begin to wither and allow bitterness to make you barren – less radiant and vibrant?
In my marriage, I struggled with the issues of blending a family and creating an environment that supported my personal growth. It was a challenging experience and my light slowly burned out. I packed on 75 pounds, suffered with digestive issues, and was disconnected from my passions and femininity. I’d allowed myself to exist in a world where my needs weren’t a priority. Almost daily, I was on the phone complaining to my sister friends about the issues in my marriage.
If we’re complaining, fault finding, only seeing the negative & judgmental, then chances are we’re in bitterness mode. It’s so easy to allow betrayal, neglect, abuse and anger to suck our vitality and leave us bitter but we must know we have the power of choice. Like the Honey Suckle, we can choose to blossom and thrive even in the harshest climates.
As I look back, I appreciate the generosity and patience of my dearest friends. Since then, I’ve learned to be more strategic in utilizing my friendships and rely more on meditating, self inquiry and being silent. These practices are rich and connect us to our inner power. In the silence, we gain clarity and insight. I realized that relationships are customized curriculum where we can see aspects of our inner thoughts and beliefs reflected back to us. Taking a breath, I could clearly see my self esteem issues, lack of confidence and limiting thoughts. It was a tough pill to swallow yet I asked myself a very important question: do you want to be empowered or victimized? I choose empowerment and now allow the journey to fuel my spirit and relationships are the greatest asset in my evolution.
Bitterness is born in fear and judgement. It’s those pesky thoughts that haunt our minds and undermine our confidence. Bitterness comes from not taking ownership of our choices. Bitterness is an opportunity to see the experience with a new perspective, as a Creatress and not a victim. It’s a gateway to connect with our essence and innocence. Bitterness blames and it eats away our ability to have compassion for ourselves and others. When we can open our hearts to life, we allow bitterness to make us beautiful. We can begin the journey of self discovery and look for the lessons in our experiences. Our focus can be on seeing beauty in all experiences and releasing the need to blame anyone, including ourselves. Haven’t we done enough blaming ?
The world is eager for the courageous few to hop off the hamster wheel of self judgement, blame and begin to create new ways of feeling, being and relating. It’s safe to take the training wheels off of our hearts and be open to the magic of loving. Appreciation is the medication. By focusing on appreciating, we shift the energy from bitterness to beauty. What we give our attention to expands. It is law. The more we complain, the more we attract things to complain about. The more we appreciate, the more we attract experiences to appreciate.
Let’s just try it for one week! Make a list of things you feel appreciation for… eyesight, lungs, fingers, toes, shelter, friends, heartbeat. There’s something to appreciate in our world. Give it your undivided attention and let’s see how your world begins to shift.