There’s always a Cost of Settling for a Low Voltage Man.
First, I want to define a “low voltage man”. We need to get clear on who he is and how he makes his way pass our emotional and physical firewalls.
Once we get clear on who he is, we’ll be able to spot him more easily. Truth is, he has set ways of engaging. Most of us are not aware of it until we’re so deep into the relationship, sex-ship or whatever type of connection we’re having with one.
Just so that we’re clear, Low Voltage Men serve a purpose in our lives. I coined these men “low voltage” because their impact on our lives typically cause confusion, depression, anxiety and pain. Sure, we can experience these same emotions with other men but the difference here is intention. A Low Voltage Man’s energy is typically low (slower) and dense. They’re seeking to TAKE as compared to High Voltage Men who are seeking to CONTRIBUTE.
Low Voltage Men intend on taking as much from you…. as much as they can manipulate and as much as you’re willing to give. That’s why the pain is so unbearable.
Low Voltage men are men who aren’t equipped to see a WOMAN as the womb of creation. He views her as game, not a Being. He compartmentalizes a woman to see what he can’t take from her sexually, emotionally, financially, mentally and spiritually.
His identity is deeply rooted in his sexual prowess and he acts like a virus, moving on from woman to woman.
Every woman who opens her life up to a Low Voltage Man, validates his most prized possession: his sexuality. In his mind, sexuality equates to manhood.
Essentially Low Voltage AREN’T deeply connected to their Organic Nature. They don’t trust in themselves & that’s why they seek our FUEL from others.
They want money, a place to stay, sex, resources, etc. They are TAKERS and rarely seek to CONTRIBUTE without expecting something in return. They don’t feel empowered as the source of solutions. He expects you to fix his life and attempts to make you feel responsible for his problems. There’s a lot to uncover regarding the Mindset of a Low Voltage Man, I’ll be sharing more insights soon. But for now, just over-stand that Low Voltage Men don’t need to be fixed by you.
Low Voltage Men strategically create a toxic environment full of confusion and negativity. It’s how he thrives. How much negativity we ALLOW informs us on our Level of Self Esteem and Value.
The best we can do is to NOT give them our precious life force energy. Perhaps then, he’d have to look inside and consciously shift his own life.
The biggest cost for settling for a low voltage man is the IMPACT on our self esteem. We begin to doubt ourselves as a woman. However, it’s not by accident, it’s by design.
Eventually, Low Voltage Men hunt after your self esteem. Not at first, though. First he has to penetrate your security system because if he initially revealed his true colors, most would kick his ass to the curb.
Our Perception of Self determines our level of Personal Power.
Our Self Esteem determines what we allow and also impacts every area of our lives. That’s exactly why Low Voltage Men hunt to undermine it.
When we observe a love connection in vampire movies between a human and a vampire, typically the “victim” is seduced or lured into turning their neck and getting bitten.
They’re caught up in the heat of passion and it’s the same with Low Voltage Men. We’re seduced and Lured into turning surrendering our awareness, self esteem long enough to get bitten.
I’ve been bitten, a few times.
My objective here is to support any woman who desires to take her power back and Blossom during & after a relationship with a Low Voltage Man.
There are 3 Phrases to this type of engagement with Low Voltage Men.
Phase I – SEDUCTION- It’s all about getting INSIDE of you on all levels.
He’s loving up on you!
He’s making plans.
He’s spending money.
He’s making an effort.
But most importantly, they’re so generous with yummy compliments and attention which make us FEEL good about ourselves and about him.
Let’s f*cking admit, it FEELS good to have a man we’re vibing say all the right things, whispering sweet words and even mustering up sweet deeds.
And, that’s why Low Voltage Men do it. It’s tactical. So, now that we’re FEELING good about him and we’ve made love, introduced him to our friends, co-workers, and family, things begin to change.
Usher in the next phase.
PHASE II: The UNDERMINE: Constant criticisms and negativity.
In Phase I , he was focused on building up your esteem with compliments, attention and adoration. Now, he’s going to undermine it.
He begins to show signs of insensitivity. He begins to be disrespectful towards you. He withdraws attention & affection. He neglects.
He may even become abusive. He attempts to make you feel undesirable & undeserving. Low Voltage Men are often chauvinistic and have a low opinion of women in general. Often times Low Voltage Men will run games to avoid commitment and are serial “cheaters”. It’s all about power and control.
At this phase, women are truly confused. How did the man who was once so supportive and loving become the so negative?
Why? Because it was a part of his strategy. This is a crucial phase, because we choose how long we will accept his bullshit. Typically, we stay for awhile. We’re doubting ourselves ( just like he planned), we’re desperately wanting him to RETURN his attention and affection.
We may even feel so desperate that we attempt to do more, give more, love more… thinking that he’ll change back to the man we fell in love (or lust ) with.
We hold our breath feeling dumbfounded. How did the man who was once complimenting and praising us has us doubting our self- worth? Honestly, if we were to peel back layers which is what I did for myself, we will see that we have patterns of accepting Low Voltage Men’s bullshit. Perhaps it was our fathers who set a low standard, abuse or other reasons but we energetically invite Low Voltage Men into our lives.
Often times the confusion and pain will begin to infect every area of our lives. We may feel exhausted from the constant negativity and pressure to fix our relationship. We can no longer pretend that this man is worth our energy.
Phase III – The Shutdown! Take Your Power back.
Our energy system has taken a lot of emotional hits. At this point, most women know that something must change.
This phase is unique as every woman will dis-engage differently. We know we must SHUTDOWN his manipulation, control and abuse.
In Phase III, he knows you’re getting tired of his shit! So, he’ll throw as many bones required to keep you as his fuel source (sex, money, home, food & energy). Usually, he’ll use his sharp survival tactics to twist words, re-direct your attention, blame you for almost EVERYTHING that’s wrong with the relationship ( and his life). Damn, it can be intense and you can end up feeling that YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.
His objective is to suck as much of your self esteem as possible while he hunt for NEW game.
He thrives off of insecurities and jealousies as it keeps the power dynamic in his favor. It’s a vicious cycle and we are the only ones to end it by sharpening our discerning skills and getting back on our throne, where we belong.
Be CLEAR! You’re not the PROBLEM. You’re the only one responsible to make changes in your personal world, not his.
Projection is a shrewd tactic that can penetrate the best of us but only after we’ve relinquished our power. Taking our Power Back has everything to do with YOU, not HIM.
Keep the focus on you!
*Be HONEST with where you are in this experience. Tell the truth and nothing but the TRUTH to your SELF! What lessons did the experience offer?
*Be LOVING. Reconnect to your Self in a powerful way. It’s a time for healing and it can be a fun experience. Get connected with people who see the best in you! Don’t beat up on your Self as it’s useless. It’s an experience that can add more wisdom and beauty to your life.
* Be FIERCE: OWN it. Owning where you are and the lessons that the Low Voltage Man came to teach you are truly invaluable. It requires vulnerability and trust. You’re anchored in Divinity, not in a Man. He can’t build you up or tear you down, unless you give him the power to do so! Trust yourself and SHUTDOWN the B.S. You’re worth it!